What Is Sex Therapy?

Like most other forms of psychotherapy, sex therapy and e-sex therapy are exclusively behavior modification therapy, which involves meeting with a therapist on a regular basis to overcome whatever problem a person has identified that relates to their sexuality. In exchange, the sex therapist shares his or her knowledge of human sexuality and expertise in working with sexual functioning and relationship challenges. Sex therapists are trained to diagnose the psychological origins of sexual issues and work to find solutions. This will often mean collaborative relationships with physicians whose specialty is sexual medicine, urology or gynecology. Despite common misconceptions, sex therapy does NOT involve sexual or physical contact between the sex therapist and patient. As with any form of therapeutic relationship, an ability to feel comfortable with a therapist is essenti. Many people find it embarrassing to talk about sex, thus it's even more important that you find a therapist who puts you at ease and with whom you can begin to talk freely.  

Why do people seek sex therapy and e-sex therapy?

Over the course of a person's lifetime stress, trauma, illness, aging, the side effects of medication, depression, an individual's history, and lack of self esteem an often negatively impact a person's sexual functioning and desire. It is not uncommon for couples and individuals to experience sex-related challenges at some point in their lives. Everybody deserves to experience satisfying, exciting, living and fulfilling sexual relationships and sexual contact and sex therapy can often help.

What kinds of problems do people want help with when they come to a sex therapist or e-sex therapist?

• Lack or loss of sexual desire
• Difficulty finding the ability to relax and enjoy sexual activity
• Feelings of shame and embarrassment about your body and sexual functioning
• Inability to orgasm either alone or with a partner
• Painful intercourse (Dyspareunia)
• Involuntary spasming of the vagina (Vaginismus)
• Intimacy and relationship problems that are affecting your sexual relationship.
• Sexual Addiction/ Sexual Compulsivity
• Difficulties either getting/or maintaining an erection
• Difficulties maintaining control of ejaculation
• History of sexual abuse, rape or threatened sexual trauma
• Poor body image which is negatively affecting your sexual life
• When you have been faking orgasms because you are too ashamed to talk about your difficulty climaxing
• When you are avoiding sexual intimacy because of your concern about "performing"
• Since having a baby, you're less interested in sex
• You want sex frequently and your partner isn't interested
• You don't want to have sex and you feel like your partner is constantly pushing you about it.
• You feel like you spend too much time thinking or fantasizing about sex
• Having sex is painful and feel hopeless about ever freely enjoying it.
• You have questions about your sexuality and don't know who to ask
• Your partner wants an "open" relationship and you're unsure 

What is E-Sex Therapy?

E-Sex Therapy is the same as above and it is done in the privacy of your home or office using secure web cameras. I will meet with you and your spouse, partner, etc. with no need to use time driving to your appointment or sit in the waiting room waiting to be invited into my office. Payments are made through my Square account which insures you total privacy.  

Common Sex Problems

The following sex problems are the problems that I get the most questions about and are the most common problems for individuals and couples I see in my sex therapy practice. Should the problem or barrier you are experiencing not be covered here please contact Earl Ledford, LCSW, CST, CET, CAP. Click on the links for more detailed information about each common sex problem.

Erection problems, or the clinical designation erectile dysfunction (ED), is still often referred to as impotence by many.

Premature ejaculation (PE) is ejaculation that happens before a man wants to ejaculate. That may be out of want to extend his pleasure or to extend the pleasure of his partner. 

Lack of desire can be caused by medications, stress, overall health, etc. and is often a secondary problem that starts after another sex problem. It can be addressed in sex therapy with a high degree of success.

Orgasm problems are experienced by many women. They are not able to achieve an orgasm, some have never experienced orgasm, and some say they are not sure whether they have had an orgasm. As with the male erection problem, the key to achieving orgasm is the brain. It must be immersed in sexy thoughts.

Vaginismus is the spasming of muscles in the vagina. It makes sex painful and, in many cases, prevents insertion of anything in the vagina. Some women cannot insert a tampon or even their finger. 

Sex drive differences are normal. However, they can cause problems in a relationship. If the relationship is otherwise healthy, differences in sex drive tend to create problems about 20 percent of the time. In relationships that are not healthy, differences in sex drive can be the focus of arguments 80 percent of the time.

How to Prepare to See a Sex Therapist or E-Sex Therapist

You can ask your primary care provider for a referral to a sex therapist, or you might check with a local hospital or medical center to see whether they have a sex therapy clinic. Your health insurer or employee assistance program may offer recommendations as well.

As another option, you might check with a professional organization, such as AASECT. Or look on the professional organization websites of psychologists, social workers and psychiatrists to locate an appropriately licensed and qualified provider of sex therapy.

Before scheduling sessions with a therapist, consider whether the therapist would be a good fit for you. You might ask questions like those below.

• Education and experience. What is your educational and training background? Are you licensed by the state? Are you certified to practice sex therapy in Florida? What's your experience with my type of sexual issue?
• Logistics. Where is your office? What are your office hours?
• Treatment plan. How long is each session? How often are sessions scheduled? How long might I expect treatment to continue? What is your policy on canceled sessions?
• Fees and insurance. How much do you charge for each session? Are your services covered by my health insurance plan? Will I need to pay the full fee upfront?
• Before your appointment
• Prepare for your appointment by making a list of:
• Details of the problem you have, including when it started, whether it's always present or comes and goes, professionals you've seen, and treatments you've tried and their outcomes
• Key personal information, including your medical conditions and any major stresses or recent life changes
• All medications, vitamins, supplements or herbal preparations that you're taking
• Questions to ask your therapist about your sexual concerns

Remember, effective sex therapy or e-sextherapy requires trust and good communication between you and your therapist. If you don't feel enough rapport with your therapist to lead to effective resolution of your concerns, consider finding another therapist.